Mind Healing Counselling

A person may not even be aware that they have schemas; in fact, the ideology may appear to be quite normal. When people are aware of their schemas, they may choose how to respond to and combat them.

Our schemas shape our perceptions of the world. In most cases, you accept these ideas without examination and may be unaware that they exist. They are self-perpetuating and resistant to change, but they can be changed with appropriate treatment.

For example, even as adults, children who adopt a schema that they aren’t good enough rarely dispute this notion. They can be the best-selling author of a well-known book series and still feel inadequate at home. Schemas try to shape your experiences and push you to live in a way that perpetuates them.

When our needs are not addressed as children, we develop schemas. In maturity, the schema, functioning as its self-serving self, frequently inhibits these needs from being met.

Relationships are an excellent example of how these schemas can endure. If we do not have solid bonds with our caretakers as children, we will often discover that the same patterns are duplicated in our adult relationships. Schema therapy, which was first offered in 1990, identifies 18 schemas. Take note of any schemas that look familiar to you or someone you know. Self-awareness is a skill!

1. Emotional Deprivation

This schema denotes the assumption that your basic emotional needs will never be addressed. These requirements can be divided into three categories: nurturance, empathy, and protection. Nurturance is concerned with the need for proximity, affection, or love. Empathy is our desire to be understood. Our need for guidance, direction, or advice is protection. This paradigm is common among adults with more distant parents who did not fully care about their child’s emotional needs.

2. Abandonment/Instability

This is one of your dominating schemas if you are afraid of being abandoned. People who have this schema typically assume that they will quickly lose everyone with whom they build an emotional relationship. This paradigm could emerge in a variety of ways during childhood. Was there a particularly damaging upheaval in your home life (for example, the death of a caregiver)? Were your parents uneven in their attention to your needs?

3. Mistrust/Abuse

This schema refers to the anticipation that people will take advantage of you on purpose somehow. People who have this schema expect others to injure, cheat, degrade, or mistreat them, and they may frequently think in terms of attacking first or getting revenge later.

4. Social Isolation/Alienation

This schema refers to the notion that one is isolated from the rest of the world and/or that one is not a part of any community. This idea is frequently formed due to events in which children notice that they are different from other individuals.

5. Defectiveness/Shame

This schema relates to the assumption that you are terribly broken and that if others become close to you, they will see through you and abandon you. This perception of being defective and inadequate frequently leads to feelings of shame. Individuals who develop this schema grew up in homes where one or both parents were critical and may have made them feel unworthy of love.

6. Failure

This schema refers to the notion that you are incapable of excelling or even functioning at a similar level to your peers in your personal life, work, school, or sports. Did you grow up in a household where anything less than an “A” was considered a failure? If you had similar experiences as a child, you might have established this schema.

7. Dependence/Incompetence

This schema refers to the conviction that you cannot conduct daily responsibilities adequately and independently. In general, children with this schema were not encouraged by their parents to act independently or to have confidence in their ability to care for themselves.

8. Vulnerability to Harm and Illness

Do you ever feel like your personal doomsday clock is ticking? This schema refers to the assumption that your next great calamity, whether physical, financial, or mental, is on the horizon. Having this schema may lead to extreme precautions being taken to protect oneself. Many people may have grown up with a scared parent who taught them that the world is a hazardous place.

9. Enmeshment/Undeveloped Self

People who struggle with enmeshment frequently lack boundaries and are overly emotionally invested in their relationships. It may also involve a lack of one’s own sense of self and a lack of inner direction or compass. This schema is frequently brought on by domineering, abusive, or overprotective parents who hinder their children from developing their own sense of self.

10. Grandiosity/Entitlement

This refers to the belief that you are better than others. Some people may place an excessive emphasis on details that they believe demonstrate their superiority (e.g. being amongst the most wealthy or successful). Individuals with this schema engage in these activities to gain power and control rather than seeking acceptance or attention.

11. Insufficient Self-Control or Self-Discipline

This schema relates to the inability to withstand any discomfort while pursuing your goals and the inability to avoid expressing your impulses or sentiments. You may have an undue emphasis on avoiding pain, conflict, confrontation, or responsibility in its lesser version. When a person’s lack of self-control is excessive, illegal or addictive conduct may emerge.

12. Subjugation

This is an overabundance of giving up control to others because you feel pressured. This behaviour is typically used to avoid conflict, anger, or abandonment. People who hold this schema believe that their own experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires are not as important as those around them. Subjugation can frequently result in a buildup of rage over time, manifesting as undesirable symptoms such as passive-aggressive conduct or anger outbursts.

13. Self-Sacrifice

This schema denotes the excessive sacrifice of one’s own wants to assist others. Common reasons include avoiding inflicting pain on others and avoiding shame from feeling selfish. This can lead to the conclusion that your own needs are not being satisfied satisfactorily, and you may get resentful of people for whom you are making sacrifices.

14. Emotional Inhibition

This belief is often based on the assumption that you must restrain natural behaviour, emotion, or communication. This is frequently done to prevent other people’s judgement, feelings of embarrassment, or losing control of your instincts. Furthermore, you may have difficulties showing vulnerability or freely conveying your wants or feelings, and you may overlook emotional experiences due to an overemphasis on logic.

15. Approval Seeking/Recognition Seeking

This schema refers to prioritising the approval and recognition of others over your own actual needs and sense of self. It can also include putting too much emphasis on status and beauty in order to acquire recognition and acceptance.

16. Pessimism/Negativity

This schema refers to a lifetime tendency to focus on the unpleasant parts of life while minimising, ignoring, or dismissing the positive aspects. People with this schema have difficulty appreciating things because they are constantly preoccupied with factors of discomfort or prospective future troubles.

17. Unyielding Standards/Hypercriticality

This schema relates to the assumption that you must fulfil exceptionally high performance or behavioural criteria. This is frequently done to avoid criticism by the person who has this belief pattern. Perfectionism, rigidity, and living by a lot of unnatural “shoulds” in numerous areas of their life (e.g., we “should” constantly be productive) are common manifestations of unyielding standards. This schema frequently wreaks havoc on a person’s ability to experience pleasure and relaxation, and it can have a severe impact on health, self-confidence, and relationship satisfaction.

18. Punitiveness

This is the concept that people should be severely punished when they make mistakes. People that have this schema are critical and unforgiving. This frequently manifests as persons who are furious, intolerant, disciplinary, and impatient with people (including themselves) who fail to achieve their standards.

Unhelpful Responses to Schemas

Surrender, evasion, and overcompensation are the three most common maladaptive responses to schemas.

Surrender of the schema

The term “schema surrender” refers to how people passively give up to the schema. They accept the schema as true and then act in ways that confirm it.

A person with an abandonment/instability schema, for example, may choose partners who are unwilling to commit to long-term relationships. They’ll fall for people who aren’t emotionally prepared for a relationship or who are “ideal” but married. People want to be correct more than they want to feel good. If we feel something is true, you will do everything in your ability to make that fact a reality, even if it means sacrificing your own happiness.

Avoidance of the schema

The manners in which people avoid activating schemas are referred to as “schema avoidance”. Schema avoidance can be classified into three types: cognitive, emotional, and behavioural.

• Cognitive avoidance refers to people’s efforts to avoid thinking about upsetting occurrences.
• Emotional avoidance refers to automatic or voluntary attempts to avoid unpleasant emotions.
• Behavioural avoidance is the activity (or lack thereof) of avoiding situations that elicit schemas and the related psychological discomfort.

Overcompensation in the schema

The third type of overcompensation is schema overcompensation. To avoid activating the schema, the individual appears to behave in a manner that appears to be the polar opposite of their schema. You may appear to be acting healthily, but overdoing it is just another extreme with its own set of consequences. More than likely, you will merely create more problem patterns that will result in your schemas being triggered in the end.

These early maladaptive schemas can emerge in many types of households, from abusive to well-intentioned. Now that you understand what these schemas are and how you might be reacting to them, you can pick a different path.