Depression and Anxiety: The Feelings Underneath

Short answer: Feelings like anger, joy and sadness are normal and healthy. Depression and anxiety are different. They’re mood states, and they can act as defence mechanisms that bury the feelings underneath. Often a “pure” emotion like anger gets buried under anxiety, and then under depression. Therapy helps you reconnect with those underlying feelings so you no longer have to push them away.

Feelings versus mood states

There’s often confusion between feelings and mood states. Feelings, or emotions, are normal, healthy parts of being human. Love, remorse, joy, sadness, anger and fear are all common feelings we experience, often daily.

Mood states are not feelings. Depression and anxiety are mood states, and when severe enough, they can be considered mental disorders, though that isn’t always the case. Most people have experienced some depression or anxiety in their lifetime without it being serious enough to constitute a mental illness. We even say we “feel depressed” or “feel anxious,” which adds to the confusion between feelings and mood states.

Mood states as defences

Mood states can be understood as defence mechanisms that protect us from underlying feelings. If we experience our anger as unacceptable or threatening, for example, we might “depress” it and end up feeling numb, out of touch with the anger beneath.

People with depression often describe themselves as lethargic, fatigued, hopeless or despairing. We can’t be in touch with our emotions when we’re depressed, and conversely, when we’re in touch with our feelings, we’re not depressed in that moment.

Anxiety can work the same way. If our anger becomes too intense, we might react by becoming highly anxious, the anxiety responding to a perceived threat that the anger stirs up. And if the anxiety then becomes too intense, we might clamp down on it and become depressed.

Layers upon layers

I describe this to my clients as layers upon layers, with the root feeling, pure and healthy, buried deep down. In the example above, anger is the healthy emotion the person has come to believe is bad, dangerous or unacceptable. So it runs: anger, then anxiety, then depression.

Freud described depression as “anger turned inward,” and I believe this is what he meant. A person might only experience their depression or anxiety, having suppressed their anger to the point where it can’t easily be reached. But here’s the thing: if you suppress one emotion, you suppress them all. So someone experiencing depression can’t fully inhabit their anger, joy, fear or sadness either. There’s more on the emotion itself in what is anger and on the mood state in what is depression.

How therapy helps

In psychotherapy, I help clients explore which feelings they might be defending against by using the defences of depression or anxiety. By learning that their feelings are normal, healthy and not to be feared, people start to shift their relationship with their emotions. Over time, this helps them find other ways to manage their feelings, so they no longer believe they have to push them away at all costs.

We can view depression and anxiety disorders as forms of “acting in”: turning inward to try to manage difficult emotions. If you’d like to explore the difference between low mood and clinical depression, are you depressed or sad is a helpful read.

If you’d like to work with us, you can call our office on 085-1298287 during business hours, or book a session at a time that suits you.

Frequently asked questions

What’s the difference between a feeling and a mood state? Feelings like anger, joy and sadness are normal, healthy emotions. Mood states, like depression and anxiety, are different, and can act as defences that sit on top of underlying feelings.

How can depression be a “defence”? When an emotion like anger feels unacceptable, we may unconsciously bury it, ending up numb and out of touch with it. That numbing, protective state can show up as depression.

What did Freud mean by “anger turned inward”? He was describing how depression can result from anger that’s been suppressed and directed at oneself rather than expressed. The healthy emotion gets buried beneath the low mood.

If I suppress one emotion, does it affect the others? Yes. Suppressing one emotion tends to suppress them all. Someone who is depressed often can’t fully feel their anger, joy, fear or sadness either.

How does therapy help with depression and anxiety? Therapy helps you explore which feelings you’re defending against, learn that emotions are normal and safe, and find healthier ways to manage them, so you no longer have to push them away.

If you’re struggling right now

Depression and anxiety can feel heavy and confusing, and you don’t have to face them alone. If you’re struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans are available any time on 116 123 (freephone), and Pieta can be reached on 1800 247 247 (or text HELP to 51444). In an emergency, call 999 or 112.

Ready to reconnect with your feelings?

You don’t have to keep pushing your emotions away. Therapy can help you understand what’s underneath the depression or anxiety and find a healthier way forward.

Book an appointment and let’s work on it together.