Am I Broken? Am I Losing My Mind? What Those Thoughts Usually Mean

If you’ve ever sat in the car outside work and wondered, “Am I losing my mind?”, you’re far from the only one.

It’s one of the most common things people say in a first counselling session. Usually quietly. Often with “this is going to sound mad, but…” in front of it.

The short answer is almost always no. Feeling like you’re losing your mind and actually losing touch with reality are very different things. The fact that you can step back and question what’s happening is usually a sign your mind is doing exactly what it should.

That doesn’t make it any less frightening. So here’s what’s usually going on.

Why it can feel like you’re losing it

Anxiety

When your nervous system is stuck on high alert, your brain stops working the way you’re used to. Thoughts race. You walk into a room and forget why. You can’t follow a conversation because part of you is scanning for danger.

That doesn’t mean something is wrong with your brain. It means it’s overloaded. If you can’t put your finger on why, feeling anxious for no obvious reason is far more common than you’d think.

Feeling unreal or detached

This is the one that frightens people most. The world looks flat or dreamlike. You feel like you’re watching yourself from the outside, or your own hands don’t quite feel like yours.

It’s called depersonalisation or derealisation, and it often comes with intense anxiety, panic or exhaustion. It’s your brain turning the volume down on overwhelming feelings. It feels awful, but it isn’t dangerous, and it isn’t the same as psychosis.

Intrusive thoughts

A shocking, unwanted thought pops into your head. Maybe it’s violent, or sexual, or the opposite of everything you believe. Then comes the panic. “Why would I think that? What does it say about me?”

Nearly everyone gets thoughts like these. Having a thought isn’t the same as wanting it. When you get stuck on them and start checking, avoiding or seeking reassurance, that can be a sign of OCD, which the right kind of therapy is designed to help with.

Burnout, poor sleep and grief

Months of running on empty do strange things to a mind. Brain fog, crying at an ad on the telly, snapping over nothing. Grief and trauma can do the same, or leave you oddly flat and emotionally numb.

If you’re not sure whether you’re just tired, our piece on burnout versus tiredness might help.

“Am I broken?”

This is a different question, and a heavier one.

It tends to come from people who’ve struggled for a long time. People who’ve tried to sort it themselves, maybe tried therapy before, and still feel stuck. Sometimes it comes from people who were told, in one way or another, that they were too much growing up.

You’re not broken. The things that trouble you now probably made sense once. Always being on edge kept you safe somewhere that wasn’t. Keeping everyone happy, the fawn response, kept the peace in a home that needed it.

Those patterns were learned. Which means they can be understood, and slowly changed.

Good counselling starts from that assumption. Your reactions make sense in the context of your life. The work is figuring out where they came from and choosing what you want to keep.

When to get help quickly

Most of what’s above can wait for a planned counselling appointment. Some things can’t.

Please see your GP the same day, or call their out-of-hours service, if you:

• hear or see things other people don’t
• feel certain of beliefs that the people close to you find strange or worrying
• feel people are watching you or plotting against you
• go days with very little sleep while feeling wired or unusually powerful
• notice sudden confusion or memory problems, especially after a fall or a knock to the head

And if you’re having thoughts of suicide or harming yourself, please reach out now. Pieta is on freephone 1800 247 247, or you can text HELP to 51444.

How counselling can help

A first session is mostly about you telling your story, at whatever pace feels right. Nothing you say will shock your counsellor. They’ve heard the “this will sound mad” bit many, many times.

Early on, the focus is usually on getting some help with anxiety and steadying yourself. Grounding techniques for when you feel unreal. Ways to let intrusive thoughts pass without a fight. Then, once you feel a bit more solid, you start looking at what’s underneath.

Online counselling can make that first step easier. When you’re feeling fragile, talking from your own home with a cup of tea in hand is often far less daunting than a waiting room. We offer sessions online right across Ireland, and in person in Limerick.

If you’d like to know more about how we choose an approach, our article on what counselling is best for anxiety walks through it.

One small step

You don’t need to have it all worked out before you get in touch. “I don’t feel like myself and I don’t know why” is a perfectly good place to start.

Your first session with us is a €40 introductory full session, and there’s no obligation to continue. All our counsellors are members of APCP, BACP or IACP. Book your introductory full session, or read what to expect if you’d like to know more first.

Mind Healing isn’t a crisis service. If you’re struggling right now and need to talk to someone urgently, you can call the Samaritans free on 116 123, any time of day or night, or text HELLO to 50808 to reach a trained crisis volunteer. In an emergency, call 999 or 112.