Anxious About Being Anxious: The Circle of Anxiety

Short answer: A big part of anxiety is becoming afraid of the anxious feelings themselves, the anxiety of anxiety. When we decide our worry is unjustified or abnormal, it tends to intensify and take over. This is the “circle of anxiety.” The way out is recognising that anxiety, and the adrenaline behind it, is completely normal and safe.

Becoming afraid of the feeling

Here’s the heart of it: we grow uncomfortable with our anxious feelings and label them as strange or unnatural, as though they’re feelings we shouldn’t be having.

Anxiety is normal. We all know it. In fact, anxiety can help us avoid dangerous situations, so it protects us. But sometimes we become frightened of the feelings anxiety produces. The very signs that can save our lives can also make us nervous and afraid.

That’s a fundamental feature of anxiety: the potential to become anxious about anxiety. We start to feel apprehensive whenever we experience the sensations we associate with worry or fear, whatever the cause. So we’re not only trying to escape the situation that set it off, we’re also trying to avoid the feeling of worry itself. This is what sits at the root of an anxiety or panic attack: the anxiety of anxiety. There’s more on this in how anxiety attacks trick you.

What’s actually happening: adrenaline

So what is a panic attack? It’s an acute spike of fear that triggers a surge of adrenaline. Adrenaline is a hormone produced by the adrenal gland, and getting an adrenaline rush is completely normal, natural, and, crucially, entirely safe. We feel it in all sorts of situations: when we’re afraid or worried, but also when we do something physically demanding or thrilling.

An adrenaline rush is actually helpful. It widens the blood vessels and airways, letting more oxygen reach the brain, lungs and muscles, so we feel stronger and better able to cope. You’ll have heard of the fight-or-flight response. Adrenaline helps us decide whether to stay and fight or run, and it gives us a boost, so if you fight, you may find more strength than you knew you had, and if you run, you may run faster than ever.

The circle of anxiety, in one story

Picture a young woman stepping off a kerb into the road. A car flies past, horn blaring. She jumps back, terrified, and waits for the danger to pass. Once the adrenaline rush fades (remember, fear comes with an adrenaline rush), she’s calm again, and she confidently crosses the road. She isn’t troubled by her earlier fear, because she believes it was a perfectly acceptable, natural reaction to the situation.

A couple of days later, that same woman is in a cinema when a message appears asking everyone to turn off their phones and note the emergency exits. She thinks about which exit she’d use, and feels a flutter in her stomach. This time the sensation startles her, because she assumes no one else was alarmed by the message. She worries the butterflies will turn into an anxiety attack. “What if I start to panic?” she thinks, growing more concerned. She begins to believe something’s wrong with her, because she’s feeling anxious while everyone else seems fine. Her anxiety climbs higher. The more anxious she becomes about her worry, the more intense it grows, and the more intense it grows, the more worried she becomes.

That’s the circle of anxiety. In the first scene, she felt her fear was justified, so it faded on its own. In the second, she decided the situation didn’t warrant any anxiety, and that judgement made her more apprehensive still.

It’s the interpretation that matters

How we interpret our anxious feelings is what can make us feel worse. If we believe the feelings are justified, we’re more likely to let them pass on their own. If we decide we shouldn’t be having them, they tend to intensify and feel like they’re taking over.

So keep this in mind: anxiety is a completely normal, natural emotion, and we all feel it for different reasons. If we fear those anxious feelings and convince ourselves they’re unfounded, we’re very likely to make worse the very anxiety we’re trying to ease. For more, see what anxiety feels like and how to calm your anxiety.

Frequently asked questions

What does “anxious about being anxious” mean? It means becoming frightened of your own anxious feelings. Instead of just facing the original worry, you also start fearing the sensations of anxiety, which tends to make them stronger.

What is the circle of anxiety? It’s the loop where feeling anxious about your anxiety makes it more intense, which makes you more anxious still. It’s driven by deciding your anxious feelings are abnormal or unjustified.

Is an adrenaline rush dangerous? No. Adrenaline is a normal, safe hormone. It widens your airways and blood vessels so more oxygen reaches your brain and muscles, part of the helpful fight-or-flight response.

Why does the same feeling bother me in one situation but not another? It’s about interpretation. When you believe your fear is justified, you let it pass. When you decide it isn’t warranted, you tend to focus on it and it intensifies.

How do I break the circle of anxiety? Remind yourself that anxiety and adrenaline are normal and safe. Accepting the feelings rather than fearing them helps them fade. If the cycle is persistent, a counsellor can help.

If anxiety feels overwhelming

Getting caught in the circle of anxiety is exhausting, and you don’t have to break it alone. If you’re struggling and need to talk, the Samaritans are available any time on 116 123 (freephone). In an emergency, call 999 or 112.

Ready to step out of the circle?

Understanding your anxiety is the first step to loosening its grip, and support makes it easier. You don’t have to manage it on your own.

Book an appointment and let’s work on it together.